When Netflix echoed something I didn’t expect

The other day (2 weeks ago) just like everyone else, I was mindlessly scrolling Instagram - one reel after another, one meme after another. What came next I was not prepared for it.

I came across a reel from the new Netflix series: When Life gives you Tangerine. It is a South Korean drama about love, life and personal struggles and embracing life’s unexpected twists and challenges. And I found it to be one of the best Netflix series that I am currently not bingeing 😋 but watching (Highly recommended)! Every episode is a lesson in learning.

Still of the Netflix series: When Life Gives You Tangerines (2025)

Coming back to this particular reel on that day: the reel depicted compilation of scenes between father (Yang Gwan-sik) and his daughter (Yang Geum-myeong). The first scene showed the father advising his little daughter on the dinner table that if she doesn't like the vegetable, she can throw them away. It would be alright. The second scene was outside the classroom when his daughter prepares to enter the classroom. The father again advising the daughter that if she doesn't likes going to school, she can come back to him where he will be waiting for her and it would be alright. The third scene showed that she was preparing for sports day in school and the father advising her again that if she doesn't wants to run, that would be alright or if she falls tomorrow in the race, her father will be there behind her to catch her. The fourth scene showed a grown up daughter preparing to leave for college. This time an elderly father again advised the daughter to come back home if she doesn't likes it or has a headache. The daughter chuckles as she has been hearing the advice since she was a little girl. The last scene is when the daughter is standing at the altar with her father on her wedding day waiting to hand him over to his groom. With tears in her eyes, she looks towards her father and her father asks her if she is sure to go ahead with the wedding. And further added, whatever happens if she does not wish to go through the wedding, she can come back to him and her house. The daughter started crying listening to the words of the father.

I stopped there.

After watching this reel, I could not hold my tears. I wept. I hadn't cried like this in a very long time. It resembled the way I cried my eyes out when I lost my father 4 years ago today. The reel reminded me about the love that a father carries for their daughters.

Daughters often look up to their father growing up. They set a great example for their daughters on how to live life, how to be ambitious, how to achieve our dreams, how to handle success and failure, the kind of future partner she aspires to be with. These words of a father from the series that, "You can always come back to me no matter what happens in life", holds the most significant assurance for daughters when they face any hurdles or obstacles in life. It signifies safety, security, protection and acceptance creating an environment for daughters to go out into the world, thrive, survive, fail and yet find a safe haven in her father's presence.

I wondered about our present world where daughters are married off and sometimes they find the doors of their maternal homes are assumed to be shut. There are many daughters who grow up listening to the words that you are "Paraya Dhan" (Borrowed/ Temporary Wealth) in order to prepare the daughters' mind to remember that they belong to the in-laws house. I recollected in this moment what my father always said and which remains imprinted on my sister's mind and mine. My father said to us: "Tum Dono Mere Dhan Ho" (You both are my wealth).

After watching this reel, I was taken back to the part of myself, that held my grief, the part I had carefully tucked away somewhere. Like a friend mentioned about grief. It comes in waves, at first they hit you hard and then it hits you again but with a lesser momentum. Nonetheless, it will always hit. But over the time, it will become bearable.

It has been 4 years since I lost my father and ever since that day, there is a void in my life that will always remain. This void had completely consumed me in the first year. Although it has changed its shape and form within me over the period of three years nonetheless, the void shall remain without ever reducing its impact.

Andrew Garfield, once mentioned, Grief is love with no place to go. I find this statement about grief very beautiful because I realized that it is my love for my father that I am unable to express to him that becomes a torment but in the end it is love.

That day I simply wondered about the time I spent with my father creating beautiful memories. Paralleling that the way the Netflix series showcased the love of father and daughter, I was very lucky enough to experience that in my reality. I started wondering if I could get more love from him if he was around. Just a little hug, a little more life advice, a little more funny moment shared between us. I wanted to feel his love and warmth. And it was like the Universe heard my request and responded.

I came back home that evening and I found a wonderful surprise. My mother had received old family photos on her WhatsApp from one of my relative (God Bless her). She sent in pictures that I had never seen before because they were not part of my family photo album (as my relative had clicked them). And there was this pic.

A Ghibli style illustration of me and my dad

My Papa and Little Me. Him holding me so lovingly in his arms. Although I am a bit distracted in the picture, he has his complete attention on me. He was admiring me with all his heart. I have not even achieved consciousness when I was this young (probably 6 or 7 months old)but he was there since my beginning. I no longer have to worry if there will be dearth of love from my father because this picture was just a priceless reminder that I am loved by him. Yesterday. Today and Always. I felt loved and warmth by him. This was exactly what I needed that day. I was reminded that a father's love is always eternal and love is that one thing that transcends dimensions of time and space. My grief of losing him is also love and this love will always stay.

To all the daughters and sons who have a loving relation with their fathers. To some who still struggle to develop a loving relation with their father due to communication gaps and misunderstanding, know always that you are loved by them. While we strive and hustle harder to achieve success, always remember the real wealth is right at home sitting on the sofa with newspaper or phone in one hand and the other hand sipping chai. Do take some time off from this hustle world and spend time creating wonderful memories with them (Maybe watch some Netflix drama together that is both heart warming and pleasant).

To You, Papa. I love you. Yesterday. Today and Always.

11.05.2021